Sunday, March 29, 2009

A new place & dumb adoption questions...

So i have found a house (well not a house of course but a flat/apartment). I am so pleased. its really nice and clean and contains plain walls, no frills, no grease and not kitchen in a box.
It's a 2 bedroom place with a little bath room (no bath, is it still called a bathroom??) and i small kitchen, but it is a kitchen...ok the fridge can't fit in the kitchen but still it is a kitchen. The walls have been freshly painted (a nice simple hue), the fridge freezer in brand new (with tags and everything. The air con in the bed room (the only one) is also new. It has a biggish balcony that is undercover that i can have a washing machine in and a CLOTHES line...which is really nice. Its all undercover so i don't have to worry about the rain. The down side is that it's the 5 floor...no lift so lots of stairs..not the best. however it's worth it.
So i took a friend of mine, Steve, (who is Taiwanese and married to my mate Anna), i basically wanted someone else other than me to think it's ok to live there. So we went today with Sarah, and of course they say to Steve...huh that kid doesn't look like a foreigner?? ...no shit Sherlock!
So he says that she's adopted (which is so obvious to the rest of the world but to Taiwanese...they don't think of that first!). The first thing that came out of the daughters mouth (who's about the same age as me with an 8 year old son) was , why would you do that? i mean you aren't even married!
She spoke a little English, but mostly spoke in Chinese to Steve. Her mother (my landlady) was not nearly as out spoken as her.
So this woman continued asking question after question about Sarah... (i have italic her speaking, so you can follow it a bit ..i hope!)
"Well how will we know that she won't just go back to England and leave the kid here, i mean my mother can;t take care of it you know".
SERIOUSLY now what kind of a person does that?
"Do you know her parents, her real parent?"
not really her mother is in Jail...
"so her mother will come looking for her and take her back right?"
...err...no. that would be illegal my dear and her mother wanted me to have her as she is not capable of caring for her!
"And what about her father?"
We don't know who the father is. The look on her face was as if i told her that Sarah's birth father was an alien...like she's never heard that people get pregnant without being married...
"So you don't want to get married then? or will you give the kid back when you find a husband?"
err...first it's none of your bees wax, and second if a guy wanted to marry me and didn't want Sarah, you really think i would want to marry him???? err...no.
"So your family in England, do they even know you have a new daughter?"
err..no i though i wouldn't mention it...??!! what the, of course they know.
"what do they think, they can't be happy about that can they?"
In fact they are over the blimming moon, as it makes me SO happy to have a baby, they already love her even if they have never met her.
She asked tons more stupid arse things but these are the ones that are most out there. i have to say that i have heard most of these before, all bar the one about leaving Sarah in an apartment when i go back to England.
It never ceases to amaze me at the ignorance level of people here. It is a lot to do with the culture, i know that but i find it so hard to hear and remain calm...
Anyway i will take the house its nice, and maybe i will educate them a little about adoption along the way!
oh just one other thing she also told Steve that she hopes that i don't have loud late night parties as lots of foreigners do and it won't be nice for her mother ...(she live downstairs)...what is she like does she have a clue what being a mother is about? i am way to shattered to have late night parties..crazy woman, and she had a son too.

4 comments:

The Accidental Mommy said...

what.... who...that idiot.. omg... bahhh! Leave Sarah in the apartment for her to raise when you get married and leave the country???? MORON!!!!!!
Well I guess if the apartment doesnt smell and there are no peaches hanging from the ceiling, you have to take your chances!
Put up pics! I want before and after pics please!

Paula Perry said...

Yes they are really dumb.
There are no hanging peaches, and the place is really clean and nice. i will be moving in on the 5th ..i asked for the 10th but they want the money...of course! never mind.

Lisa said...

Idiocy never ceases to amaze me.

Tickled you found a home you like.

Heather Hammond said...

Lovely lovely friend....I am sorry you have to put up with such crazy inquiries! Ignorance is unbelievable sometimes....